The Road Less Traveled...

There is a poem by Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken". This poem has always sort of been a rule that I try to live by, to not always take the road that looks easy, or that the majority would choose because of the ease and popularity. The final lines read like this, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

This summer my husband and I have decided to take a giant leap of faith, and take the road less traveled. We have decided that I will stay home to be a mama to our son and soon to come baby girl. This choice may not seem so "untraveled". But I feel like in this world driven by money and consumerism, that many may feel like we are making an impractical and poor decision. We will be burdened financially. We will sacrifice many tangible pleasures. We will not be able to buy extras, we won't be able to go out to eat, we may go without some things that we "need". This will be hard. But I firmly believe that we can live with less. Since I became pregnant with our baby boy, the nesting instinct spurred a purging/living simpler spark and it has been burning ever since. So - I am hoping that as a stay at home mama, I can maximize what we have to obtain all that we need. We will shop at ALDI! We will GROW A GARDEN for fresh veggies. We may even get some backyard chickens for FRESH EGGS! (we go through tons of eggs) I will cook REAL food and feel good about what I am giving my family. We will live SIMPLY and we will be happy!

See, I am viewing this decision as an exciting lifestyle change. This is our chance as a family to live simple and live a meaningful life. I will not be working every day just so that I can pay for someone else to take care of my child. We will teach our children, we will share experiences with our children and we will raise them in a home with God, family, and the necessities of life. Traveling this road will be difficult, but I believe that for my family, it will make all the difference.

(PS... just want to throw out there that this is a decision that is the right one for our family - I am in no way trying to diss those families/mamas that do work - up until last month I worked. We all have to do what we feel is right for our personal lives/families lives.)

Convincing Myself That I Make Art Everyday.

So, it's pretty easy to fall into survival mode. As you complete each small daily task - you begin to focus on how you are going to accomplish the next daily task and try to fit in some bonus tasks in between - those bonus tasks being ones that are not essential but would be really nice to have done, say maybe clean the kitchen floor, or put something away, or maybe, just maybe you will have enough time to do something to yourself - like look in the mirror, or brush your hair. Anyways. That is the mode I slip into most days. Making through my day just to get home and be with my family. Most days I also feel like I just did the bare minimum, accomplishing everything but not really doing a job that I feel proud of. Supper is cooked, but its not really that great - some of the house work was done but there is still a lot left to do, let's not even talk about the mounds of work left on my desk at my job. You know that old saying, a jack of all trades, a master of none. I just want to feel like I am good, really good, at something. Mostly, I want to be the best mama and wife I can be. Creating a home that my family can hunker down in and nestle up and just be. Be whatever they want to be. BUT - I read this blog post(scroll down to read "in which I convince you that you are an artist") tonight that really made me realize that my everyday life - the life I don't feel like I am good at, is a work of ART. That's right folks, we make art everyday. The simple things we do for our family and our loved ones are works of art. The suppers we cook, no matter how they taste; bath time with my baby, the after bedtime talks with my man - it is all art. No, we aren't using a paint brush. But, the world is our canvas. When I start feeling like I am just getting by, I am going to stop and think about the art I created that day. I am going to always be sure that I make time for my art. And, for those who see my art, I hope they feel God, I hope their heart aches with the love I have for my baby boy, I hope their heart burst with the love and devotion I have for my husband, I hope they feel my awe and wonderment for nature. What would your art look like?

I have a boy, not a baby?!

When did this happen?? So... You know, your baby is ALWAYS your baby! But, I've started noticing that my baby is not a baby anymore! He is a boy, and I mean ALL BOY,a rough and tumble, wild eyed little boy! He runs around with no direction at all, he jumps off of couch arms, he tries to scale up our side tables, he laughs at himself when he burps, or when anyone else does for that matter, he loves trucks and balls. He uses a fork too. Yep, my baby - I mean boy - can eat his dinner (for the most part) with a fork! That is really not a baby skill. I gotta say that I miss my baby, but I am LOVING my boy! He is the most exciting thing in the world - every day is new to him and every day he is doing something new - there is a new word, or a new facial expression, or a new reaction to something. I am so eager every morning to watch him live in this world.


My Sweet New Baby.


My Boy, exploring this world!

Month four

Rutledge has really hit ALOT of milestones this month:
*Rolled over - January 16th
*Flipped his body 180 degrees in crib - the night of January 17th
*First Trip to a restaurant - January 17th, Sunday Morning, Cracker Barrel
*First Shopping trip with JUST mommy, no help - Katie Mac and Target, and it started raining :(
*He also started blowing rasberrys with his tounge/lips.
*January 22 - He really laughed WITH me about something! He didnt just giggle like he does when I kiss his neck talk with him. He made a funny noise and I imitated it and laughed and threw his head back and laughed and laughed! Not just a fleeting ha ha, he laughed and looked at me and laughed some more. It was AWESOME! It was like we shared a real moment. We both thought something was funny and laughed TOGETHER! I cant wait for more times like that :)
*Still LOVES his paci.
*Despite knowing how to roll over, he still does not like tummy time.
*He likes to be/sit outside.
*Loves his swing.
*He still LOVES to talk and now hes upgraded from oohs and ooos to all kinds of crazy loud noises and even yells :) We have the most interesting and loud converstations! :)
*He has kinda grown out of sleeping on his tummy on our chest. Its kinda sad because that made for the BEST naps. But, I think he grew too long, he just doesnt seem as comfortable like that anymore.
*Still loves to ride in the car and stroll.
Four month checkup stats - 15 1/2 lbs, length - 25 1/2 inches

Rutledge - Month Three

During the first week of Rut's third month we started giving him formula for his last feeding. It took him about 5 seconds to figure out what to do with it! The first night he had the formula he drank 5 oz in about 15 minutes. This is the same baby that takes 45 minutes to nurse! Well, he spit most of it up after about 45 minutes. Everything was soaked! The sleep wedge, the sheet. I actually went to get some groceries so Josh had to field that one on his own and he did great! He cleaned everything up, gave Rutledge 2oz of breat milk and put him to bed! The next night he took the formula and never had another problem!

Rutledge has a bedtime routine, although the time varies a little. Lights are off, daddy gives him his last bottle and puts him down for the night (whether he is awake or sleeping). We have been really lucky and this has worked. Even if Rutledge is awake he will lay in the bassinet until he falls asleep. No crying! Well, he will sometimes let out a squeal if he looses his paci before he falls asleep! :) He started out the month sleeping about 8-9 hours at a time and by the end of the month he was stretching it to 10 sometimes.

This was a big month for Rut! He started to venture out into public places this month for shopping and such and to holiday family get-togethers. He is starting to drool and blow bubbles!

Rutledge - Month Two

Wow, as soon as Rutledge entered his second month of life so many new things started happening.

He first started stretching out his sleeping at night. He began having a sort of bedtime and slept for 6-8 hours at a time. The first night this happened I woke up at the 8th hour of him sleeping and was frantic! I also woke to find him sleeping on his side one night when I had taken the sleep wedge out of the bassinet. I decided to put the sleep wedge back in!

He started to smile, and even giggle, alot! All we have to do is talk, or sing, or tickle his little chin and he gives us the biggest, gaping, gummy smile! It makes me so happy!

He also began to "talk". Instead of his usual grunts and sighs, he really began to try to make noises while we talked or sang to him. It is honestly the cutest thing ever! He purses his lips, his eyes get wide, and you can hear him pushing air through his lips and then finally he will make the cutest "oooo" sound. And I tell ya, he looks so excited and proud of himself when he makes that noise! I love it! By the way, he talked to his Daddy before talking to his Mama.

He made his first friends! They are the green whale and the orange fish that hang from his swing! He can spend a good 10 minutes smiling and talking to those two friends while he swings. It is adorable!

Oh yeah, he LOVES kisses from his daddy. Josh will kiss Rut on his forehead and Joshs beard will tickle his nose and he will smile so big!

Rut is sleepin' like a wildman, kicking his legs, arms up above his head, he even slides around in the bassinet during the night!

He still loves car rides, the swing, walks in the stroller, singing, his paci, his sleep sheep, likes tummy time, loves to sleep on his daddys chest, and he loves to be held while he naps, so glad I have a snuggler.

A few things stopped happening when our boy turned two months also. He no longer folds up his legs when you pick him up (loved that), he still struggles with gas but hes not having quite as hard of a time with that (yay!).

He had his two month appointment. Weight - 11lbs 6 oz, Length 23 inches, Head 16 inches.

He let out one big wail when he got his shots but calmed right down once they were done!

Rutledge's First Month

Man, that first month went by so so so fast! But it amazes me how many things happened in that first month and how much Rut changed! I have to say, I was excited to get our baby boy home, but you know, the hospital wasn't that bad. We didn't have to worry about cooking, I could have water or coffee or sprite anytime I wanted :), and there was always somebody around to answer a question we might have about nursing or about Rutledge! But, of course, I wanted to take him home! The first month was so many things. Stressful, tiring, exciting, full of love and emotions, a special bonding time for our new family, and learning about our new baby boy, getting to know what kind of person he is, wonderful, happy. That first month was like no other time in my life. It was kind of surreal.

These are some things we learned about our Rutty Duck. Right from the beginning Rut ate really often. Every two or two and a half hours. And it took him about 45 minutes to an hour to nurse. So, for the first month I was nursing all the time! But I love it! At night he ate about every 4-6 hours. I started with him in the pack and play at the end of the bed. That didn't last long! I was crawling to the end of the bed every time he made a sound, and let me tell you, he is a noisy sleeper. He grunts, and kicks his legs, and also makes the sweetest sigh sounds. He actually startles himself and wakes himself up with the noises he makes! So cute when hes sleeping peacefully and then grunts or squeals so loud he wakes up and has the most concerened, worried look on his face! So, we borrowed a bassinet and put him right by me! So much better, I could just lean over and check on him! Oh and he does the cutest thing when he falls asleep - when hes in that inbetween state, his eyes roll back into his head and he makes lots of funny facial expressions, including a big giant smile, even a tiny giggle. Josh and I love to watch him while hes falling asleep so we can see his big gummy smile! I have only HAD to rock him to sleep a few times, but he really likes to rock. Even though they say you shouldnt get in the habit of rockin' baby to sleep, I love it and give in sometimes and rock him, and sing, and watch him get so quite, his little hands folded on his chest. His eyes will get heavy, and they'll start to roll, and he will smile and sigh until he is fast asleep. Heaven. He also loves his sleep sheep that makes an ocean wave sound when hes falling asleep!

For the first two weeks he slept alot and never ever cried! But man, around the third or fourth week, he really woke up. He still didn't cry that much, maybe a little around feeding time. But he was so aware and watched everything!

Josh and I have so so much fun loving on our little baby boy! He is always so happy and easy going. He loved bath time from the start! He also loves the swing. He was a little unsure the first time we put him in, but after that he was very content in it! He also loves walks in the sling and the stroller, loves car rides, and LOVES his paci! And he actually likes it when we sing to him!

Oh yeah, our baby boy is so so gassy! I mean all the time he is gassy. This caused ALOT of distress for me when he was so new. He would strain and push from the gas and I was so worried he would hurt himself pushin'! I mean, his face would turn red, he would grunt, and twist and turn. And then, once he finished that, he would end up having the hiccups. I mean really big hiccups and his whole body would move! I just knew this couldnt be normal! I called the doctor a few times about this. :) But they said it was normal. (I didn't believe 'em:) ) Oh, and when hes pushin he pokes his lips out and his eyes cross! Pretty funny!

Our little man has been given lots of nicknames sinces he has been home - RuttyDuck, rutty poo, pretty fella, rut rut.

Oh yeah, he had his two week appointment and everything was great! He weighed 11 lbs 2 oz, length was 22 inches.